How Those Dogs Will Bark

There are no doubt many reasons for the age old canine behavior of barking; a welcome home to the master, a greeting to other dogs or a warning of impending danger. I believe that one of the other doggie reasons to bark is to drive the neighbors crazy. We’re the neighbors. 

In our first home there lived behind us a dog who was aptly named Fiesty.  He was a large, trim, mixed breed dog; part Doberman, part stealth bomber. I’m not sure about the Doberman half but I am sure about the stealth bomber part because without making a sound he could zip across his large yard with lightening-like speed, jump up, placing his paws on top of the fence, and then bark his head off.

It was a loud, deep staccato bark and if dogs can smile he was doing that too. His favorite time to employ this stealth barking technique was when our backs were turned; we were usually pushing our children on the swing set, and were within 10 feet of the fence. More bang for the bark. Fiesty no doubt enjoyed watching us levitate straight up off the ground as we simultaneously shrieked and flailed our arms. 

In our current home we have through the years been surrounded by various dogs ranging in size from large to humongous. At one point we had two Great Danes on one side and a Bull Mastiff on the other. I felt safe as long as we stayed in our neighbors good graces. 

The Bull Mastiff was silent but ominous. The Danes were sweet and friendly but had voices that tended to carry...right to my ears. It was a deep, mellow penetrating sound that was comforting for the first five minutes after which it was like Chinese water torture. I must say that the owners of that dog are, or maybe now were, friends of ours and couldn’t have been more faithful in making numerous efforts to quiet their pooches. 

Taking over the yard that used to house the Mastiff is now a Doberman Pinscher named Herbert. He enjoys barking at us when we’re sitting on our screened porch which happens to be very close to his fence, once again putting us within potential heart attack range. He either disapproves of us sitting there or he’s just acting tough because he’s embarrassed about his name. You can name a Bassett Hound Herbert if you want to but this guy’s a Doberman for crying out loud. 

Just in case the dogs are trying to tell me something when they bark, maybe I should be a little more sympathetic. I think I’ll start calling Herbert “Killer” just to make him feel better.