Take a Large Order of Humor and Check Your Ego at the Door

The Colonel’s in Your Corner, by Colleen's Contributor Jill Morgenthaler

Humor as a Weapon:  How to Defuse a Bad Situation

A San Francisco woman police officer responded to a call about a domestic disturbance.  Police officers dislike these calls because emotions run high, tempers flare, and the potential for violence escalates.  As she approached the house cautiously, she heard a man’s voice shouting angrily, and then a television crashed through a second-story window, smashing at her feet.  Without pulling her gun, she knocked on the door.  From inside, the same angry voice boomed, “Who is it?”  She replied, “TV repair…!”  A few tense seconds later, she heard the same voice start to laugh and soon, he opened the door.  She was able to go in and pacify the situation.

Humor is a wonderful means to defuse a tense situation.  Using humor, especially poking a little fun of yourself, can calm a situation, bring things back into perspective, and even save lives.  Using humor does mean putting your own ego aside and doing what’s best for the situation.

Ladies, this is one of our strengths.  Often in an angry situation, men begin to posture.  They let their egos get in the way.  They figuratively begin to beat their chests.  They lose perspective of what’s at risk and they can end up exacerbating the situation.  Women will often put their ego aside and think “Do I want to be proven right or do I want the right outcome?”

In 1996, when I was in war-torn Bosnia, tensions were running high as NATO worked to ensure villages that had been destroyed were safe to return to – both structurally but also in ensuring combatants couldn’t return to attack the villagers.  Meanwhile, the villagers were getting anxious and wanted to return home regardless of the conditions.  My team and I were in one village where atrocities had occurred.  The militia of one ethnic group was threatening violence if the villagers of another ethnic group returned home.  An elderly man had been killed earlier that morning.  My team’s job was to assess what was happening and report to the command and the media.

As we stood in the war-torn village, a man with a group of villagers armed literally with large sticks and stones started to enter.  Being the highest-ranking person there, I approached him and with the help of my translator, I told him that it was too dangerous to return and they were not permitted to enter.  He hauled back and spat on me.  The soldiers seeing me threatened instantly locked and loaded their weapons, aiming them at the villagers.

No one had ever spit on me before.  I look at the spit on my uniform.  I looked at the spitter.  I thought to myself,  “No one should die because somebody spit on me.”   Therefore, I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life.  I laughed.  I pointed at the spit and laughed.  The spitter looked stunned.  The other villagers started to laugh with me.  The whole situation calmed.  We were no longer the enemy.  We were fellow human beings. Once we stopped laughing together,  I explained what NATO was doing and  why the village was still too dangerous for them.   The villagers listened, and then took their large sticks and stones and left.

Leaders must put their egos aside to get the right outcome.  Whether it is laughing at yourself or having a cute quip, you have the means to deescalate tension.  You want to put water on the fire, not fuel.  To finish, let me share with you a story submitted to http://EzineArticles.com/97706

“Our manager was pushing the IT technician to fix a huge computer breakdown in under half a day.  The technician was getting frustrated at the unreasonable request, but rather than push back with resistance, he said, ‘Actually, I only need two hours. The other two I’ll be using to cure world hunger.’  They both laughed and the manager mellowed out.”  (Contributed by Linda Johnson)

Maybe you can use that line someday too!

Today on EVE:  Mys Chic helps you save loads of money on formal wear.

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