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Health & Fitness

Can a Guardian Angel Be a Cat?

Given the age wave, more and more families face caregiving challenges for which few are prepared.

A friend who shares my interests in life transitions planning gave me a copy of the New York Times bestseller, Making Rounds With Oscar: The Extraordinary Gift of an Ordinary Cat by David Dosa, M.D. Dr. Dosa is a geriatrician at a nursing and rehabilitation center in Rhode Island. The book is dedicated “to the families and caregivers of dementia patients everywhere.” Given the age wave, more and more families face caregiving challenges for which few are prepared. The burden falls disproportionally on women—wives, daughters, widows, moms, sisters, and other loved ones.

 Doctor Dosa recounts how a group of cats came to reside in the nursing home, animals that brought cheer and comfort to patients, caregivers, and staff. One cat, Oscar, a black-and-white tabby, lived among the residents in the home’s dementia unit. Not a particularly sociable animal, Oscar sensed when a patient with terminal dementia was dying. He would curl up next to the person and remain there until the last breath. Oscar knew when life was drawing to a close, even when the staff did not. Could a guardian angel assume the physical form of a cat, and remain with us until it is time to escort our soul to our eternal home?

 While the book contains real life stories and conversations, confidentiality is respected. Names are changed, circumstances altered; some stories are composites of experiences. Have a tissue handy as you read. It is said that each of us ultimately will be a caregiver or cared for, and perhaps both. The stories may tell us something about our future. We should engage loved ones in conversations about our legacy and the healthcare we wish to have, especially if plagued with a complex and terminal disease. Our wishes should be carefully documented, archived, and accessible to potential decision makers.

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 A single mom with a young son described the challenge of figuring out how to work, care for her child, and “be there for my mother.” Her mom suffered from Lewy Body Dementia, the second most common form of dementia, a frequently misdiagnosed disorder with a difficult behavioral component. Putting her mom in a nursing home was one of the hardest things she ever did. Even after her mom’s passing, she wondered if she could have done more? As life slips away and a loved one “disappears,” caregivers often battle feelings of guilt over decisions not easy to make on behalf of the mom or dad who gave them life to begin with. In facing reality, one woman told the doctor, “My mind gets that. My heart doesn’t.”

 End-of-life choices are difficult enough, especially for a loved one who has been given little direction by the patient. What should you tell those who love you and who may have to care for you?

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 Resources are available to help caregivers, spouses, loved ones, and families prepare for what may come.  Georgia Health Decisions, a non-profit organization dealing with health care issues, has created an excellent advance care-planning tool. The Critical Conditions Planning Guide goes well beyond a plain vanilla living will and advanced directive, invaluable in stimulating conversations and providing specificity; The Guide may be previewed and ordered online at www.critical-conditions.org.  The guide is useful regardless of your state of residence.

 The Family Love Letter is a planning tool designed to bring clarity to a spouse or other loved one, reduce stress, and minimize the family conflicts that often follow incapacity and death; www.familyloveletter.com

 Five Wishes helps a person to express how they wish to be treated when seriously or terminally ill and unable to speak for themselves; www.agingwithdignity.org

 Each of the referenced tools will facilitate personal introspection and deep family discussions, as well as planning with financial advisors and estate planners. We pour through travel guides as we plan exotic vacations. God gives us travel tips relative to our final earthly sojourn if we care to listen and ponder. Dr. Dosa saw a cat as a Sherpa, as patients made their final trek before crossing over. The touching stories will increase understanding of situations requiring patience, sensitivity, and wisdom. For caregivers and those challenged with a difficult diagnosis for a loved one, Making Rounds With Oscar is a recommended read.

 Lewis Walker is President of Walker Capital Management LLC and Walker Capital Advisory Services, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor (R.I.A.) Securities and certain advisory services offered through The Strategic Financial Alliance, Inc. (SFA).  Lewis Walker and Mike Hostetler are registered representatives of SFA which otherwise is unaffiliated with the Walker Capital Companies.

 

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