Ethical Wills and Living Ready for Dying

A traditional will or a trust transfers material possessions. An ethical will bequeaths wisdom, vision, values, life lessons, moral guidelines, and personal reflections to family members and other loved ones. Ethical wills have roots in religious traditions. Elaine Tiller at Baptist Senior Adult Ministries in Washington, DC, counsels:  “Ethical wills are windows into the souls of those who write them. It is this that makes them so cherished by family members from generation to generation.”

 From childhood I have been fascinated with trains, planes, and majestic ships as magic carpets to faraway places. Years ago I started journaling my thoughts as travel widened my world. Having journeyed to all seven continents, including Antarctica, my musings at times take on spiritual dimensions as I contemplate the wonders of God’s creation and diverse handiwork. My fond hope is that my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren will ponder my observations and find their own meanings. As I watch my grandchildren grow and learn, I have been thinking about recording in an ethical will what “grampa” has learned from a blessed life.

 When I write about matters involving life’s end readers have inquired as to my health. Thankfully, I am fine, with expectations of years of contribution ahead. Nevertheless, the Age Wave tsunami offers lessons. I have worked with clients in end-of-life planning, and in 2012 published an e-book for financial planners entitled Planning for the Challenges of Aging, Healthcare, and Special Needs. We don’t like to talk about dying, yet as Amy Florian, an expert on grieving and handling loss of a loved one, notes, “We had a baby boom. We’re going to have a death boom.”

 We urge “living ready” to tackle the slings and arrows of life. Research shows  that living ready with a healthy attitude toward death and dying can add to longevity. Up-to-date wills, powers of attorney for assets and health care, advance directives, beneficiary designations reviewed, adequate insurance protection, and a family plan to deal with the stresses of caregiving, adds a measure of control that fosters peace of mind. Circles are closed, not left broken and vexing. Meaning and purpose are vital to the extension of life, even if the only thing left in the last inning is to pass on clarity and wisdom to those you love.

 Google ethical wills and you will find a myriad of resources. Writer Rabbi Jack Reimer asks that we face our mortality and the meaning of our life in writing, admittedly a challenge: “An ethical will is not an easy thing to write. In doing so, one confronts oneself. One must look inward to see what are the essential truths one has learned in a lifetime, face up to one's failures, and consider what are the things that really count. Thus an individual learns a great deal about himself or herself when writing an ethical will.” (Reimer, J. & N. Stampfer. Ethical Wills: A Modern Jewish Treasury. NY: Schocken Books, 1983. Also see, Robert Flashman, M. Flashman, L. Noble, S. Quick. "Ethical Wills: Passing on Treasures of the Heart." The Forum for Family and Consumer Issues, 29 December 1998).

 Your ethical will may be as long or as short as you wish. Think of it this way. Seconds after the moment of your unexpected death, your disembodied soul is hovering 1,000 feet in the air on a beautiful sunny day. You look down and see your house, but you know can’t go home again. You see your spouse, your children, son- and daughter-in-law, and grandchildren, knowing you did not have the opportunity to say goodbye. You see others important to you in life.

 But God mercifully grants you one hour to come back and sit down with those you love. What would you tell them? Write it down. That’s the beginning of an ethical will.

Lewis Walker is President of Walker Capital Management LLC. and Walker Capital Advisory Services, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor (R.I.A.) Securities and certain advisory services offered through The Strategic Financial Alliance, Inc. (SFA).  Lewis Walker is a registered representative of SFA which is otherwise unaffiliated with the Walker Capital Companies. ▪ 3930 East Jones Bridge Road ▪ Suite 150 ▪ Peachtree Corners, GA 30092  ▪ 770-441-2603 ▪ lewisw@theinvestmentcoach.com