This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

The Squirrel Hunter

A tale about a man with a bit too much passion for reducing the squirrel population.

I recently ran across an item about a man who was arrested after trying to shoot squirrels on a golf course. Unfortunately the man missed the squirrels and accidentally hit a golfer in the stomach with his .22 caliber rifle. What's "squirreled away" about stories like these is that they do not discuss the idea of  a lack of self-control from folks like The Squirrel Hunter. Note to The Squirrel Hunter: Do not shoot in populated areas. Indeed it's common sense advice, but methinks The Squirrel Hunter left his common sense at his garage door.

Indeed many of us only dream of "offing"  those tree-dwelling rodents. Those jittery little critters invade our gardens, bird feeders, chimneys, gutters and sometimes our attics. They even become daring by trying to cross the roads, but receive their comeuppance by becoming flattened by our tires and thusly finished off by the crows.

For the faint of heart, the squirrel is far from being a cute little creature. Trust me: they're out to trick you. To which I say, "man-up" and see them for the little selfish manipulators that they are. The squirrel is a nosy prickly thing that gets into everything that we all hold near and dear. Our trees are plagued with their pine-straw-thatched homes and many lawns are pock-marked with deep holes that were created by their heavily-clawed paws. Oh yes, the squirrels taunt many of our domesticated pets when they spend time outdoors.  I confess that this is all a bit dramatic, but many of us who have had these bushy-tailed interlopers scar our landscapes, perhaps there can be a wee-bit of sympathy for this man who shot up a golf course on his recent squirrel hunt.

Find out what's happening in Peachtree Cornerswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

I admit that I found some common ground with The Squirrel Hunter until he took fantasy into reality.  While those obnoxious pests cackle in my tree tops and ride my gutters, I only dream about "taking them out," but it stays as a dream. I do not act on that dream because I just might miss and hit a few gas lines or perhaps, a person like this man did in Glynn County, Georgia. Here's hoping that the victim, who was hit in the stomach, is OK. Excluding the fact that he reported himself, The Squirrel Hunter was acting just as selfish as his intended victims, the squirrels.

After being charged with one count of Reckless Conduct, hopefully The Squirrel Hunter learned his lesson to engage in some self control. After all, his intended victims escaped unharmed and are living it up wherever they choose in their ersatz homes filled with plenty of acorns. Who's getting the last laugh now?

Find out what's happening in Peachtree Cornerswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?

More from Peachtree Corners